Review: This Start Won't Go Out

“The measure of friendship is not its physicality but its significance. Good friendships, online or off, urge us toward empathy; they give us comfort and also pull us out of the prisons of our selves."

Title: This Star Won't Go Out
Author: Esther Earl
Publication Date: Jan 28th, 2014 
Publisher:  Dutton Books for Young Readers 
Source: Bought it
Where to find: Goodreads / Amazon / Book Depository






I do not really know what to say about this book. I have put off reading it since it came out because I do not like books that are inherently sad. And while this book is sad, I appreciate how it showcased what Esther went through post diagnosis. This book is constructed as entries from Esther’s diaries, her parents blogging about her progress, and other entries by people who knew and loved Esther.

This book has a lot of mixed reviews and I think that is mostly due to it not being what you expect. It is a document dump, but it is the truth and it what was really going through their minds throughout this whole process. And yes there were typos and grammar issues, but that is because that was how it was written by Esther. The entries were kept as she initially wrote them.

The biggest thing for me was just how real Esther’s thoughts and emotions were. Her entries really showed how hard what she was going through was. It showed how hard it was for her to stay positive and not completely give up. And even when she was sad and wanted to give up she was still a rock and was more concerned about others rather then herself.

This review is all over the place, but I’m struggling with what I want to say. Yes, I’m glad I finally read it, even if it was heartbreaking to read from the perspectives of people who knew her rather than my perspective of knowing a bit about her and her contributions to nerdfighteria. But at the same time how do you review a book about someone’s life, especially someone who was taken from this world way too soon.

I’ve decided that I’m not going to give this book a “rating”. I honestly don’t know what to give it. I want to give it five stars for how amazing Esther was as a person, however I feel like I cannot adequately give it a rating that it truly deserves both as a book and as a window into Esther’s life. Just know that I am glad I read it.